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Friday, November 15, 2013

THE AFFORDABLE HORSE ACT OF 2013

In  honor of the health insurance debacle that we are all suffering through right now, I had to post this great article sent to me by a friend. If anyone knows the clever author of this piece, please send it to me so I can give much deserved credit! BTW: This must be designed to cut down on the use of carbon fuels! (Opps...don't give this idea to Al Gore!)

THE AFFORDABLE HORSE ACT OF 2013

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Horse Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a horse by April 2014.

These "affordable" horses will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, training, trailering, feed and farrier fees, boarding, show and transportation fees, veterinarian bills or the occasional hospitalization.

This law has been passed because until now, only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase horses. This new law ensures that every American can now have an "affordable" horse of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a horse. If you purchase your horse before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" saddle pads, not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable horse, the costs of owning a horse will increase an average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their horse will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can ride their parent's horse in shows on or until they turn 27. Then they must purchase their own horse.

-If you already have a horse, you can keep yours. (Just kidding---no you can't!)
-If you don't want or don't need a horse, you are required to buy one anyhow.
-If you refuse to buy a horse or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.

Failure to ride your horse will also result in fines. People living in the inner city, low-desert, or who live in cities or areas with no access to stables or show-rings are not exempt. Age, fear of falling, no equestrian experience, neither horsemanship skills nor inability to ride are acceptable excuses for not using your horse.

A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the withers, fetlock or tail of a horse) will decide everything, including: when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your horse...along with how many people can ride your horse...and determine if one is too old or  not healthy enough to be able to ride their horse. They will also decide if your horse has out-lived it usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories, (like a $5,000.00 saddle) or a newer and more expensive green Warmblood from Europe. Those that can afford Fancy Hunters will be required to do so...it's only fair.

The government will also decide the name for each horse. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a horse, they and their families can obtain a horse for free, at the expense of the taxpayers.

Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

I was going to order a new horse today, but the website was down. I am sure they will fix it. I will try again tomorrow!!!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!

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